if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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