Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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