I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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