So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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