You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
