She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
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Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
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I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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