I think im going to throw up on grandma
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
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She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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