Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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