You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
