i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
