I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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