I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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