with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
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I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
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HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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