Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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