just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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