...so i touched it.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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