"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
