What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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