i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
