Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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