Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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