my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
