whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
