Pappa wants mamma naked
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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