My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
one two three fourrrrnication!
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
