Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I don't deserve a penis
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
