God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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