this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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