I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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