My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
