i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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