I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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