Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
this will be a night to untag.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
