rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
