Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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