Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
