The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
