Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
