I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
