he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Did I show you my penis last night?
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I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
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I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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