To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
