I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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