i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
