if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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