Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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