I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
