I smell stomach acid.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
