you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
