We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
