and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
