I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
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I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
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does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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