the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
