I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
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he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
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She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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