the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
