eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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