yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
