i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
