I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
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My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
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I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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