You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
